aging

Teenager Refuses To Lie And Spare My Feelings!
I am not proud of the story I am about to tell you, but I do so because I feel it is important for you to know that I am not as perfect as you think.  It might make you feel less inferior to realize I too occasionally have a bad day.
It was our last morning in Hawaii and the entire family was having breakfast together. Don had taken a few pictures and (here is the problem with instant access) I was not happy with how I looked.  I thought, “hmm I look older”, but instantly put it aside so as not to ruin the mood.  On the way back to the room to pick up our luggage and leave the following conversation occurred:
Me:  Don, I feel like I have really aged this year.  I don’t think I look forty anymore. (I am 52).
Don: You don’t look older.  You still look forty. (Good husband.)
Me:  No I don’t.  Sofie how old do I look?
Sofie: Forty-seven.
Don:  Sofie!
Me: Forty-seven?  Are you kidding me?  I don’t look that old.
Sofie:  Mom you are being ridiculous. That is still five years younger.
Don: Sofie!!
Me:  Big deal five years!  I want to look forty.
Sofie:  Well, that’s ambitious.
Don: Sofie!!!!
I then proceeded to actually cry all the way to the air port . I knew I had been kidding myself and that time had cruelly caught up to me.  I am no longer attractive and I will have to develop some sort of “skill” or “talent” to get through the rest of my life.  After we checked in for our flight and Don told me I was being overly dramatic and ruining our vacation (jeez) I began crying again and said, “But I don’t want to have surgery!  Maybe it is time to try botox or fillers.”  Don rolled his eyes at me and said I didn’t need them. Good husband.
My Grandma, Emy Brooks, at age 75
Why is it so fricking hard to age?  I hate that I live in a town where at fifty-two I look older than the other fifty-two-year-olds who are injecting their faces with silicone and numbing their foreheads.  Trust me, I have no judgements and I reserve the right to do it myself, but I wish it wasn’t a big deal to get older.  I had this idea that I would age gracefully and naturally like my Grandmother did.  But so far I am not going gently into that good night.  Besides, I don’t know how she really felt.   Maybe she struggled sometimes too, but she never complained and she made aging look beautiful. She told me once that her favorite age to be was whatever age she was at the time.  O.K.  Now I really feel like a loser.
My problem is I am the laziest vain person I know.  I think about how I look all the time but I hate taking the time to put on make up or blow dry my hair and I really like my sweat pants.   I am not happy that my skin is  beginning to fall off my face but I am not interested in doing anything to stop it. In a head to head contest lazy still beats vain.  Maybe some of my Grandma rubbed off on me after all.  I can only continue to hope.

New Class

My post last week, Scaling Down,  seemed to touch a nerve with some of you women folk.  It turns out I am not the only person with body issues.  Who knew? We are the one of the fattest nations in the world and we have more diet, weight loss programs, and fat free foods than any nation as well.  What is wrong with this picture?  To my untrained unscientific eye it would appear that there is no connection between diet obsession and weight loss. I am not seeing a real connection between diet obsession and positive self image either.  So, this along with your comments,  started me thinking (uh oh).  We women of a certain age have been sold a bill of goods.  This we know.  What most of us don’t know is what to do about it.  How do we stay healthy, take care of our children, take care of our parents and freaking age with some modicum of grace?  We are going to live much longer than we thought.  Think about it.  When we were kids (those of us born in the 60’s and earlier) people died at around 65.  Now that is considered really young to give up the mortal coil.  We need to reevaluate  some things here or we will all be ninety-year-olds  propped up on the couch unable to move as our Great Grandchildren self levitate past us and we are thinking, WTF?

I am starting a class probably on Thursday nights.  We will move, learn something, have tea and discuss.  I will use my fitness and dance background to lead a fun movement and stretching program that will be suitable for any age and fitness level.  If you are in peak form you can just go crazy.  If you are one more cookie or year shy of sitting on the couch unable to move you will be able to do this too.  I will teach you what I am learning about aging, women’s health, and how to weed through all the junk out there and incorporate things that really work for us. Then we will have some tea and talk for a bit.  So many of us have no idea how our bodies work and so so few of us have a support system. There will be no fee for the class as I work out the kinks and practice on you.  Eventually I will charge on a sliding scale but no one will be turned away for lack of funds.

If you are in the Pasadena area and would like to attend please e-mail me at deanne@pobox.com.  If you can’t attend but would like to keep abreast (so to speak) of what we are doing email me and let me know.  I am very excited about this.  Let’s change things!