|She made it all the way to the top.|
That teeny little pink dot at the top of the rope is Addie in her gymnastics class yesterday. Every Freshman’s gym class nightmare is not a problem at all for her. She went right up and was the only one in her class to do so. She constantly amazes me with her abilities and talents. She also figured out the pool/spa remote this week (which I have never been able to do as it is ridiculously and unnecessarily complicated, even Don says so) because she thought the pool was too cold and decided it should be a toasty 104 degrees. We only discovered it because there was steam coming off the pool yesterday morning. I can’t wait to see the gas bill.
When we first met Addie we were rather taken with the dignity and courage this little ten-month-old baby had. She settled in with us so bravely. She really looked at us like, “This is it now?” Her adaptability was astonishing. She was forced to and became a survivor very early in her life. She isn’t so good with adaptability these days. In fact changes of any kind, even to something she enjoys, send her over the edge. She had to make so many huge changes in her early life I can understand why she might be over it. She is the first kid I have ever known that when asked to do something will look at you calmly and say, “No.” We often disintegrate into huge emotional battles when we ask her to do something. I won’t even talk about trying to get her to bed at night or getting her to school in the mornings. Let’s suffice it to say if you had to do it for even one day you would understand why I went to Portland.
As much as I can empathize I will never understand what it feels like to be her and to be adopted. She speaks about her Chinese Mom and wishes she could meet her but she does not want to go to China or learn Chinese. (She says she doesn’t have a Chinese Dad and when I told her everyone had a Dad she responded, “India doesn’t, she has two Moms.” I didn’t think it was the right time to talk about sperm donors so I just let it go.)
We are working with a therapist who specializes in adoption issues. She was adopted herself as well as having adopted a child from China. I may not understand how Addie feels but this woman does and she is helping Addie develop her own “Lifebook” and understand who she is and why she feels the way she does. She will also help Don and I with the changes we need to make. Well, Mostly Don since I am already pretty perfect.
I’m fairly certain if we can climb this “mountain o’troubles” we will be fine. Addie is the strongest most determined person I know. In fact, all Don and I really
need to do is hold the rope and she could climb it by herself.