I can’t ever write anymore because I am always doing homework. Well, that and not going to Bikrim and having just the teensiest of nervous breakdowns have made writing difficult. When last we spoke I told you I was having a bit of trouble getting off Cymbalta. Well, faster than you can say, “Oh my God my life is out of control I am not doing anything to make myself feel better I turned fifty-two I’m so old and I haven’t accomplished anything it is too late for me my life has no meaning all I want to do is sleep and eat I hate myself.”, I realized I was pretty depressed. Now, to his credit Don had noticed it quite a bit before but we all now that until something is my idea it does not exist. So, for now, my Doctor suggested I take more Prozac and see how I feel in a few months. I have eagerly if not sadly agreed. I have not been enjoying my life and I know for certain my family has not been enjoying me. Although, I don’t want to take drugs so I can stand other people I will do whatever it takes to make sure my family can stand me. I am feeling better and I may even go back to yoga. There you have it.
In other news, EMT school is half way over. Thank God. I am not enjoying it (could be the clinical depression, I don’t know) but I really want to finish. Why? I have no freaking idea. I do not want to be an EMT. I do like having the skills and it makes me feel a little more in control in a world that is feeling more and more out of my control. At least if there is a problem I can try to fix it. And as Don says, “There is no downside to being an EMT.” So if you have a heart attack, choke, or get an arterial bleed at my house I know what to do. I still can’t find a pulse on anyone, but I can not be good at everything. I am not sure how I have managed to keep up in school feeling the way I have and I am even doing pretty well. Most importantly I am way above the class average. I have always taught my children, it does not matter how well you do. It matters more how you well you do in comparison to others. Wait. Is that wrong? Whatever.
And in case you thought I was not paying attention to news and politics, well you would be right. I did however hear the other day that Sarah Palin, Rick Santorum, and Rick Perry were speaking at the NRA convention. America’s best and brightest. All you need to know.