Earlier this year I posted that I was finished hating myself and the way I looked. Many people thought that post Je Suis Finis was a suicide note, but I assure you I never wanted to die, but I did want to off the self loathing sad part of me. I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to accomplish this Herculean task at the time, but I meant it. I had tried to start “eating better” and “exercising more” many times to no avail. It was too hard. It took too long. What was the point? I decided to try a different approach and last March I signed up to participate in The Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. I found the training schedule on line and I started doing it. I had to do it because I didn’t want to collapse somewhere on the streets of Santa Barbara and be carried off to the medical tent to get an I.V. Wait, that did happen anyway, except I walked all the way to the finish line and into the medical tent myself. Take that! Anyway, I started slowly, a few miles at a time. After a few months I added Bikrim Yoga to my training, which is hot yoga which sucks and I love it. I was working out harder than I had in years and I started feeling better and better. And, I started losing weight. Here’s the thing though…I wasn’t doing any of this to lose weight. (Although I’m not stupid I knew that would happen.) Instead, I did this to challenge myself and to raise money for a really good cause. I was not working out because I was hideous and need to fix myself. How could anyone do that for very long? I was taking care of myself by training and eating well to accomplish a goal that wasn’t only about me. I have only lost about 12 pounds, but I feel so good I don’t care. I am not going to look like I did when I was 20, 30, or even 40, but I look great for me at 50, 51…..whatever.
|Gaby, Addie and Sofie|
Speaking of Princesses. Last night was Halloween and Addie was a Princess and Sofie was Ke$ha. I’m so proud. I have been a Princess for Halloween every year except twice. In 1966 I was Davy Jones from the Monkees (RIP) and in 8th Grade some friends an I all decided we would be Circus Performers. At school on Halloween as I was stood among the clowns, acrobats, and lion tamers, they all glared at me and asked what my gown, fur coat and tiara could possibly have to do with the circus. I told them I was the owner. This year I wore a crown like I always do on Halloween and I made Don take my picture like I always do on Halloween. When I looked at the picture I was surprised when I didn’t see a young beautiful circus owner, Miss Brea, or Cinderella. Instead I saw who I am now, a crazy lady in a crown, but I liked it. I like how I look right now really for the first time in my life and please God I hope it lasts.
|Crazy Lady Wearing Crown and Obama Pin|
So now that I have been feeling good about myself for about ten minutes I feel completely qualified to tell you how you too can be as fabulous as I.
1.Thinking you are ugly all the time is still thinking about yourself all the time and is still self absorbed so start thinking about how you can help others.
2. Have a goal to be strong and feel better. (Not to lose weight). Take baby steps, be kind to yourself and don’t quit when it gets hard.
3. Make sure the goal is not too easy or too difficult but make sure it is convenient. For me the La Canada trails and Bikrim are right outside my door. Well, not right outside my door because that would be weird, but you get the point.
4. Buy yourself a crown and wear it. Trust me this really helps
Lastly, remember medical science is going to keep us alive probably until we are one hundred and we will want to have the strength to get out of bed and walk at least as far as the kitchen. Now that is a good goal.