I’m sick today. I’m sick and I am cranky and I keep yelling at the kids because they are so stupid. They argue everything. They argue everything because they know if they keep at it they will wear me down and get what they want. I guess they are not so stupid after all. It is my number one problem as a parent. I keep giving in!!! Why do I do this? Who cares why. I just need to stop. There I have stopped. The screaming you will hear coming off the mountain in La Canada will no longer be mine but will be the pitiful cries from my children not getting every thing they want the minute they want it. Seems like this would be a no brainer but I am finding I really don’t like conflict. As with the Facebook situation I seem to be withdrawing from any circumstance that is going to create a difference of opinion. I do not like this about myself. I feel worn down. It seems I always pick the alternative viewpoint, champion it, and then get bitter and tired fighting the good fight. Women’s Rights, Natural Childbirth, Teaching Women in Prison, whatever…. Oh I know what it is! I have Martyr Syndrome! I am a self made Martyr and mad about it! I get it! I let people “hurt my feelings” “take advantage of me”or “bully me” so I can feel sorry for myself. Well, that is disgusting.
What do my children and Republicans have in common?
They can both shut me up.
That isn’t good for my kids and it’s not good for me. I think it is not even that good for Republicans who would certainly benefit from my occasional humble opinion.
To sum it all up. I have never done things just because they are easy. I think living a fulfilling life means most of the time you end up doing the things that are hard. It also means most people don’t always agree with you. I am going to have to be ok with that again. I didn’t used to mind it, in fact I loved it. So, I am going to rest up, get better, quit yelling at the kids and go back to stating my beliefs. After all Martyrs are so 15th Century and apparently you can really only do that once.