Time to go home. Just how many book stores, gardens, art galleries, massages, yoga, and pilates does one person need? I guess I need a lot. The trick will be to find a way to keep doing these things when I get home. Now that I am a Stay Around Mom I have e few extra hours a day and I hope I don’t fill them playing games on my IPad.
The truth is it is very difficult for me to be creative and feel good about myself in Los Angeles. When I am away from the City of Cranky Angels I don’t spend hours of every day thinking about how old and fat I am. Sometimes I even feel good about myself. LA is tough man. It is a young woman’s game and those who aren’t so young anymore are desperately trying to hold on to their size 2 jeans- myself included. It is so fricking exhausting and it takes up all the space that any creative energy or even dare I say, happiness, might creep in. Not to mention that with very few exceptions Los Angeles is a cultural wasteland. It is hard to create in a fear based atmosphere and people in LA are very afraid. This is why most television and films suck. Fear from the top of the industry down. No trust in the artist whose idea it was in the first place. I have watched it happen a million times (not really a million but a few times a year) a really good idea gets thrown like a stuffed animal to a pack of dogs and if it survives at all it is handed back to the writer barely resembling the cute little bunny it started out as with the declaration, “Now that’s a show!” When it becomes apparent that America does not want to watch a torn up stuffed animal the pack of dogs slink off to their master and say, “Must be the writer’s fault.”
I just got really distracted there. This isn’t about me at all! This is what my husband goes through every year. He’s even learned a few tricks to handling the pack of dogs. Some of them aren’t very smart so if you throw them a cookie first they might leave your stuffed animal alone. I don’t know how he does it. He has extreme discipline, does’t drink or do drugs and he still creates scripts that are wonderfully funny and deep. Art in the wasteland.
Now back to me. This is not the Don Todd blog. Can’t think of a thing. See you in LA. I’ll be the woman with the newly auburn hair, henna tattoo, wearing her glasses. I will still be wearing makeup- let’s not go overboard. Thanks Portland, I needed that.
Later: I want to add that while I consider Los Angeles to be a cultural wasteland I know many talented artist that work and thrive here. They are way cool,too.