I know we can’t talk about safer gun laws because we just had a massive slaughter in Las Vegas but the time between shootings is shorter and shorter so I am going to go ahead and talk about it now.  I realized today I follow a now all too familiar pattern after these events.

Day i

1. Do I know anyone that could be involved in the shooting?
2. Contact said person if applicable.
3. Post how grateful I am they are okay when they check in safe on Facebook.
4. Hope the shooter was white so we don’t kill or ban any brown people.
5. Feel relieved because usually the shooter is white .
6. Get angry when politicians post their ” thoughts and fucking prayers.”

Day 2

Fall into a deep depression imagining how I would feel if it were one of my children or husband who had been killed.

And here we are again on day three.  Day three I cry off and on all day because I realize that I cannot keep my children safe in this world.  I know I can’t protect them from everything but I should not have to worry about them getting murdered at a concert, or a movie, or at church, or playing baseball, or at fucking kindergarten.  The blame for my helplessness I lay solely at the feet of the NRA and the gun toting assholes who believe their right to an automatic weapon is more important than our children’s lives.  Mostly I blame our congress whose desire to be retain their jobs overcomes all manner of decency and caring. The victim’s blood is on their hands and I hope being re -elected is worth it to them.

I am not anti-gun.  I grew up with responsible gun owners.  My Dad was a cop and kept his in a locked box when he came home because he had two little girls.  My Uncle was an ex- Marine who loved, respected, shot guns, and tried to no avail to teach me the same.  My Grandfather was a cowboy who kept his rifle over the door of his bedroom where it hung until the day he died. (Then my Uncle took it.) Do people really need more than that to defend themselves?  Do people really think a back ground check and banning assault rifles is going to put them in mortal danger?  What are they so afraid of?

Day four is tomorrow and that is the day I will donate to one of the organizations who inevitably e-mail me for money to push for stricter gun laws.

Then I get a few days, maybe a week, if I am lucky a few months before the cycle begins again.

Day 1

1. Do I know anyone that could be involved in the shooting?

See above, repeat.